Chapter One
When Dad died, it rewired Mom’s DNA and spat out an unrecognizable version. She was desperate to change, while I wanted everything to remain the same. That’s why I’m shocked when she taps me on the shoulder while I’m at work planting in the forest behind the lake house. This is where we spent every summer; Dad is gone, but the lake and forest and everything about being here is an embodiment of him. A reminder.
I swing around to face Mom, and pull my earphones, cutting the soothing monotone voice of the podcast on restoring wildlife to urban areas.
Frown lines crinkle her forehead; they never used to, but now they’re a permanent feature, and just like her pointy heels, slim-fitting white pencil skirt, and perfectly pressed blush-pink blouse, I don’t know or understand this version of her that feels too delicate for the tangled overhanging branches and rugged forest floor paths.
“Hey, wanna dig in?” I say, holding up a sapling from the black tub next to me.
Before Dad died, she’d be in her cargo pants and tank top, smelling of sunblock, on her knees digging in plants with me.
“Oh, god no. Don’t have time.” And she stands there in silence, leaving me confused about why she’s here. For three years, she’s refused to talk about Dad or his plants or any of his environmental lawyering work, let alone be here.
Mom and Dad were both environmental lawyers, madly passionate about restoring wildlife, and it was so ingrained, such a part of us, I stupidly assumed that would remain the same. A version of her I assumed would never change.
“Everything okay?” I say.
She stands there stiffly, like she can’t get away soon enough.
“I’ve got clothes ya can borrow, ha ha,” I say, trying to lighten the mood. I rest the plant I’m holding in the hole I’ve just dug. “Got a spare uniform,” I say, pulling my Balducci Landscape Design t-shirt away from my stomach. “We could swim after.”
But she doesn’t find it funny; a stupid joke. Mom’s less than happy about the full-time summer job that Dad got me, as part-time paid assistant landscape designer for Mr. Balducci. And part-time unpaid volunteer tree planter to re-establish the forest around the lake, a project started by Dad and Mr. B.
“How can I help, Mom?” Whatever the reason she’s here, it must be important.
“Izz, Jen from the office. Her daughter got her law acceptance letter today.”
Nerves grip my insides. My desperate need to be accepted into law is the only thing that remains the same. And the only thing we talk about. It’s the only thing we are both one hundred percent on the same page about.
“Have you checked?” Mom asks.
Like three hours ago. She says it like I don’t know today is the first day that acceptance letters go out. That’s why I’m here, buried in plants and dirt, because it’s the only thing distracting me from the fact that if I don’t get in, I have zero other plans.
“Not checked since this morning before work,” I say.
“Well.” Her hand rests on her hip.
I remove my gardening gloves as we walk through the forest, Mom on her tiptoes navigating the path to minimize the risk of dirt on her shoes, me plowing through in my steel-cap work boots, until we reach the parking lot and my work truck parked in front of the lake. The deep, forest-clad valley flanks the crystal blue lake water that floats for miles.
The reception is patchy in the forest and marginally better in the parking lot.
I don’t bother trying to log on to the university portal. Out here, the website will time out before it loads.
I call admissions and hope Kate is on.
“Hello, Law Admissions; you’re speaking with Kate. How may I help you?”
I wander to the bench seat on the lakefront and take in the view of the wooden jetty stretching far into the water. Mom follows and stands next to me.
“Hi, Kate, results come out today. Just wondering if you’d mind checking my status.”
“Ah, Elizabeth, I thought I might hear from you today.”
There’s silence. Mom’s stare is boring into me; my heart is banging against my chest, the beat filling my ears. I focus on the lake’s edge, the sun and thin whisper of clouds reflected in the water.
“Umm, says pending,” Kate says.
Inside, I’m unravelling.
I have gotten to know Kate, and I ask her a list of questions about the final date acceptance letters are sent out. It’s safe to say she’s patient—unlike Mom, who lets out a heavy sigh; I know she got the gist of the conversation.
Mom wanders to the weathered hut that sits on the lake’s edge. She pauses in front of the veranda, the paint on the steps worn through to the wood. I know for certain she won’t go inside.
“They’ll tell me soon,” I call.
Mom says nothing for a moment. Like she’s contemplating or reminiscing.
“You’ll find out soon enough.” I hold in my worries and doubts, not daring to say, What if I don’t get in? It’s the only thing connecting me to the mom I knew and the dad I lost, and the only career I can see myself happy in for the next fifty years. I suck up the fear. Before, when I could trust, she’d wrap me in a warm, comforting hug and fill my mind with endless positivity about how things would work out. But that version of her died with Dad, and I’m too afraid to contemplate what will remain if this one last thread that’s keeping us attached is cut. If I don’t get in, she’ll be a stranger.
She returns to her car. Housing Co. Property Developers is written in elegant script on the side panel of her BMW. Well, technically, Mike’s. Less than six months after we buried Dad, Mom and property developer Mike began a whirlwind enemies-to-lovers romance. Mom, once a staunch environmental lawyer, worked for Dad, and together they despised Mike for butchering local forests to build subdivisions with cookie-cutter mansions. But somewhere along the line, hate turned into love, and he became consistent with Mom’s theme of reinventing herself. She ditched law and began working for Mike. I’m the last in the family to continue Dad’s legacy; I want to become an environmental lawyer and stay an environmental lawyer, because that’s what’s holding me together and it’s the only thing that makes sense.
“It will be okay.” She gives me her fake smile. Which cuts, because she’s worried I won’t get in, but not nearly as worried as I am.
Chapter Two
In the kitchen, I make toast and sit at the table. Mom dumps her bag on the chair next to me; she’s wearing a fitted tank top and yoga pants. Mike, wearing a gym top and shorts, bursts into the kitchen. Sleepovers have a whole new meaning when they include your mom and her new boyfriend-slash-business partner. It’s not that he’s not nice. He’s just not Dad. Though I like that he doesn’t try to be.
Mom rests her hands around my shoulders, pulling me into an awkward backward hug. “We gotta go. See you tonight; text if you hear anything. No, wait, call me immediately.”
Mike grabs his keys off the hook by the door and swings his arm around Mom’s shoulders. “Ready? Wanna come, Izz? We’re doing an outdoor yoga class at the botanical gardens. Sound like your kinda jam?”
“Oh, sounds cool, but—” I point to my cargo pants, then steel-cap boots, “planting up at Mrs. Wilson’s today. Thanks, though.” I chug the last of my coffee.
“Well, that sucks. Not much longer, and ya won’t have to spend your Saturdays gardening.” He says it like gardening is a bad thing. It’s not. He just doesn’t get it, but it’s nice that he tries.
Eli walks into the kitchen wearing nothing but his mountain-biking shorts. “Sup.”
The tan lines across his arms and around his neck form the outline of his mountain-biking t-shirt. Since he ditched law, he splits his time between living at home and roaming the country, chasing auditions and sleeping in his car. Much to Mom’s horror.
“Do you ever wear clothes?”
“On special occasions.” He smirks, which cuts because it makes him the spitting image of Dad.
“Not heard from Highmont yet?”
“No,” I huff out, resting my elbows on the table and cupping my face in my hands. “Other people have heard, though.”
Eli lifts the chocolate milk container from the fridge, flips the top, and guzzles it before placing the carton back in the refrigerator. “You’ve got this, Izz. Really.” Wiping the chocolate milk dripping down his chin, he wraps his arms around me, ruffling my hair. “You’ll get in, and if not Highmont, one other for sure.” He rests his hands on my shoulders. “If that’s what you really want.” A sentiment he repeats all the time since quitting law school to follow his acting dreams. He smiles more now, even if he has zero actual plan. “I’m hitting the tracks. I’ll give ya a lift to work when I’m back.”
***
Eli drops me off outside work. Wooden letters hanging from the window spell Balducci Landscape Design; underneath, plants crowd the shop face. A green oasis amongst high-end fashion shops and the most popular cafés Rockridge offers.
Usually, I’m the first employee to arrive, and my job is to set up the display of plants outside the shop. And I’ve gotten good at making it chic. Today, someone’s beaten me to it, and it’s giving thrift-store vibes. I inspect the planter boxes outside filled with a haphazard eclectic mix of plants with zero color coordination or logical order. Crammed together are the marigolds, lavender, and vegetable seedlings, and sticky-taped to the window, a tacky neon orange sign in the shape of a star reads Special! It’s annoyingly unpretty.
On the sidewalk, a wall of larger plants, bushy flaxes, and tall spindly pittosporums in no logical order separate the foot traffic from those sitting at tables drinking lattes.
Inside, I’m hit with the aroma of freshly baked bread. Behind the coffee machine, Mr. Balducci tips beans from an oversized bag into the grinder. He’s not much taller than me and never without a faded black Balducci Landscape Design cap.
In his Italian accent, he says, “Morning, Izzy. Coffee for you?”
“Er, thank you.” Glancing around, I note the shop’s layout has changed. The café is no longer confined to a little corner; tables occupy most of the space, like landscape design is an afterthought. Pushed to the side are all the plants I thoughtfully laid out in aesthetic groups. My logical groupings to help customers visualize how their customized plantings might look are gone. Instead, there’s a nauseatingly chaotic mix of natives and tropicals that could never coexist because they require different microclimates. Whoever did this is flexing their half-baked botanical skills. For fact I know it wasn’t Mr. B.
“You like it, Izzy? Our newest employee, Nico, did it.”
I’d temporarily ignored the fact that Mr. Balducci was hiring new staff, because I’ve been enjoying working solo.
Mr. Balducci points at the planted living wall behind him—a lush green backdrop. Overflowing pots filled with herbs, micro greens, and fancy lettuce spell the words green café.
“Err, it’s amazing.” I’ve yet to meet Nico. Does he know this is a landscape design company? It is stunning, but I’d love to say it’s impractical. Though I’ll admit, Mr. Balducci uses herbs and lettuce mixes to make his gourmet sandwiches and salads.
Mr. Balducci hands me a coffee. “Nico has café experience and suggested that updating and expanding the café might bring in more clients.”
Has Mr. Balducci been frolicking through catnip? This change can’t be a good thing, surely.
“And it’s working.” He wipes coffee bean dust off his black apron. His smile—an almost permanent fixture—widens, then drops. “Any news about law? Your Mom came in this morning. We’ll miss you. Nico has come at a good time.”
I picture Mom’s fake smile falsely reassuring Mr. Balducci that it’s practically guaranteed I’ll get in. We both know she’s saving face, avoiding the conversation about how, in fact, I might not get in.
I ignore his question, too embarrassed and tired to rehash the details of how it’s not a guaranteed thing.
“I can work till the day I leave …” I glance around the café, “you know, to help—” I stop mid-sentence, before offering to change it all back to how it was.
Mr. Balducci’s smile is bursting at the seams. He clearly believes expanding the café and this Nico person will be helpful. My hackles rise, like a cat that’s discovered an imposter cat invading its territory. This new guy is trouble.
“Appreciate that, Izzy. I’ll need all hands on deck with all the new contracts and now that I’ll be lecturing at the community college.” Mr. Balducci is a self-confessed workaholic who never turns down an opportunity to make money from his passions. Café, case in point.
“Seeing as the shop has been set up,” I say, “I’ll get to Mrs. Wilson’s. Unless you would like me to, er, change anything?”
“Unnecessary. Nico is there already.”
Oh, joy.
Mr. Balducci’s focus slips past me as someone lines up for coffee.
I cut through the shop out the back of the parking lot. My favorite work truck is gone. Anyone who’s been here more than five minutes knows that’s my truck. I claimed it by hanging a fake potted plant from the mirror and adding Izzy across the pot. And I labelled the toolbox with my name in big fat capitals with four exclamation points. I didn’t tell anyone per se, but exclamation points speak for themselves.
I load another truck with spare tools before leaving seven minutes late.
I drive out of town and wind up the steep forest-clad highway, the canopy of trees casting a shadow over the roadsides. At the peak, the road zigzags down with sweeping hairpin turns through the low-hanging fog until it flattens and thins into a straight highway. No matter the weather, it’s pretty.
Once on the straight, I pull into Mrs. Wilson’s driveway—a flat gravel road pitted with potholes and overhung by trees she refuses to cut. I offered to thin out the underplants to allow more sun in, and her response was that she liked the privacy, which I get.
I reach the lagoon. The newly dug-in natives surround the pergola, where Mrs. Wilson sits with her laptop. The bedding plants are sparse now, just babies, but soon they’ll take off and give Mrs. Wilson privacy and shade when she writes. I don’t beep or wave; we both like to work alone—it’s the perfect system.
Mrs. Wilson’s sprawling white character villa comes into view, with a wide veranda wrapped all the way around, surrounded by a cottage garden. I take a sharp right toward the double garage, and in my parking spot is my truck. I lurch to a stop. A tall, brown-haired guy with a not uncool botanical sleeve of tattoos lifts a spade from my toolbox and places it in a wheelbarrow. He waves and pops a friendly grin. I return a half-hearted smile and get out of the truck.
“Hey, you’re the infamous Izzy.” He holds out his hand. “Nico. It looks like ya stuck with me for a few weeks. Beautiful out here, right?”
“Yep, and yep,” I say, shaking his hand, letting go as soon as is socially acceptable. “So that’s my truck, and those are my tools.” My tone is direct but friendly. I reach into my truck and grab the cactus hanging from the rear-view mirror. “See?” I point to my name written around the base of the pot.
His smile turns to a playful grimace. “A massive apology. I thought someone named the cactus Izzy. Made me smile.” He’s laughing now, and I’ll admit it is funny. He’s also annoying. And we are wasting time. Soon it will be a billion degrees and too hot to plant.
Returning to my open toolbox on the back, I close the lid, revealing the thick black letters that spell Izzy.
“No denying they’re yours, noted, sorry. Ha ha, the yellow box and black letters make the lid look like a bumblebee.” He’s not wrong. Is he always this distractible? Oh my, I can see myself doing all the work today.
“Lovely,” I say, which makes him smile, missing my sarcasm.
“From tomorrow, could you please use the spare truck and the spare tools?”
He rakes his hand through his hair. “Absolutely.” Tattooed on his wrist are Roman numerals wrapped in a delicate fern frond unfurling up his arm and over his shoulder. Cyathea dealbata—at least he knows his ferns.
I grab a wheelbarrow from the open garage and one by one place the foreign tools from the spare truck into the barrow. I glance at Nico as he retrieves his water bottle from the back seat of my truck and skulls till it’s empty. He’s wearing black mountain-bike shorts, not the camo green cargo pants that are part of the Balducci Landscape Design uniform. Neither is the black-and-red plaid shirt tied around his waist. Or the black tank top. And going off his tan, he’s in the sun a bit—not that his tanned-toned arms are useful in gardening, other than to indicate he’s definitely fit and definitely healthy and should, in theory, be helpful hauling compost.
I grab the rolled-up printed plan for Mrs. Wilson’s garden from the truck’s back seat, unravel it, and hold it out toward him. “This is the plan, color coded where each plant goes.” Pointing to the pool garden, I say, “You plant out the lavender,” before directing my focus back to him.
“Nice—lavender, color-coded purple. That’s quite the organization system you’ve got there.” He smirks, which is mildly irritating. He strikes me as a non-planner, makes-it-up-as-he-goes kind of guy.
“The software works out the exact cubic feet of compost or plants needed, based on the exact measurements of the garden beds. Saves money and time. No over- or under-ordering supplies.”
His smile drops as I flick through the pages of the detailed plans. All garden beds are color coded with corresponding, neatly written lists with the exact number of plants and cubic feet of compost or topsoil required for each area. I can’t tell if he is in awe of the organization system or thinks I have lost my mind. Either way, his eyes, which are deep hazel with gold flecks—almost unnatural-looking—are conflicted.
“Oh, er, I just spoke with Mrs. Wilson and suggested changing it up a bit.” A grimace now paints his face. “Ordered some stuff too.”
“Wait, what? She’s had the same plants in the same places for the last three years.”
Nico grabs a crumpled piece of paper from his mountain-bike shorts and holds it out. It’s a hand-drawn map of Mrs. Wilson’s garden beds. He has to be kidding. This is not a garden organization system, it’s a ten-year-old’s plan. The only thing it’s missing is the tree fort. He’s labeled the garden sections with names of plants that are nothing like those Mrs. Wilson and I agreed on.
Nico taps at the garden sections. “Natives here, here, and here. Easy.”
“I’ve spent hours drawing up the garden plan and ordered all the plants.” The words fly out faster and ruder than I intend, and I walk off, toward Mrs. Wilson. Ordinarily I wouldn’t interrupt her, but before I sucker punch this guy in the nose on account of being annoying, I should check things with her first.
When I’m almost at the lake, Nico yells, “Francesca said to go for it. I’ve already delivered the natives. I’ve laid them out in the garden beds where they’re supposed to go. Ready for you to dig in?”
I pause, not wanting to interrupt Mrs. Wilson unnecessarily, and return to my truck.
My tone is stiff. “Her name is Mrs. Wilson. She’s a private person.”
“Honestly, she told me to call her Francesca,” he says, running his words together. “We can return the stuff you’ve ordered, right? We can cancel the order. They’ve not delivered them yet.” And with reassuring eyes, “It will all be okay.” He’s so calm and unruffled by my outburst it makes me more irritated. I’m internally screaming, Be nice. The guy is delusional but clearly trying.
Before I can say anything, he’s on the phone with the suppliers and has cancelled my order.
“I’ll start with the natives, and how about you start with the pool garden? And then I’ll come to help you when I’m done,” he says, all breezy-like, followed by that weird way he looks at me—it’s like he’s genuinely trying to be helpful. But I don’t need or want his help. He’s made the horrifying assumption I’m cool with his breeziness and random change in my plan. I’m not breezy, and I’m not cool. Enough said.
Nico lifts the handles of his barrow. “Better get started on those garden beds, right?” And he heads toward the cobblestone path that leads around the back of the homestead.
I grab my shovel and push through the pool gate. My nerves are unhinged; I am stuck working with this guy and don’t have the security of my plan to follow. The pool water is a crisp aqua blue, which matches the clusters of oversized planter pots overflowing with zinnia flowers in every color. Boxed garden beds surround the pool.
Starting with the garden by the paved barbecue area, I stab my shovel into the soil and begin lifting and turning over the earth, readying the ground for natives and not lavender. In the distance, a pop-rock song blares, Nico singing along, his voice flat and crazy out of tune, making up the lyrics as he goes. He gets points for enthusiasm.
With the sun high overhead and not a lick of wind, sweat beads on my forehead, and my cargo pants and tee stick and scratch against my skin. Nico has already removed the old plants, weeds, and rocks from the garden beds, making my job much quicker than I’d planned. By lunchtime, I’ve turned over all the soil and planted all the natives he’d already laid out.
I follow the path around the back of the house to the pile of mulch by Mrs. Wilson’s orchard, the multiple varieties of peach, plum, and nectarine trees laden with fruit. The music is blaring. I scoop mulch into my barrow when the music stops mid-song.
“It’s delicious. Want one?”
And there’s Nico, behind me, sitting in the shade under a tree, biting into a fuzzy peach. No shirt on, his tank top draped over a branch—probably where he plucked the stolen fruit from. I dig my spade into the mulch, lift the mound, and drop it into the wheelbarrow.
“I’m good. But thanks,” and continue to dig. “We’re not supposed to help ourselves to food from a client’s garden. It’s written in the contract we signed.”
“She gave me the basket and said to help ourselves.” His tone is upbeat. “She said there’s no way she could eat it all.”
When I face Nico, he lifts a basket filled with an assortment of fruit: peaches, nectarines, plums, and strawberries. And with a genuine smile he holds out the basket, gesturing for me to take some.
“We’re not paid to lounge around half-naked, eating stolen fruit.” The words rush out bitchier than I intended, and I immediately regret saying them. Something about him being half-naked makes me nervous, and while he’s without a doubt disorganized, he’s not awful.
And he has a point about the abundance of fruit. There are over fifty laden trees, and in my rush this morning, I forgot my lunch box and drink bottle. But I can’t sit next to the not-unattractive Nico and eat stolen fruit when I was such a bitch about it. Anyway, the rules are the rules.
I’m heading back to the pool area when Nico runs past me, lifts his legs to his chest, and drops into the pool, water spraying my face. He glides along the bottom till he pops up at the other end. “Better!” He holds his breath, then dives back under.
Is this guy here to work and be helpful, or what? Does he know Mr. Balducci is paying him to work? Clearly, he makes up his own rules.
Nico bobbles around in the same spot with his head underwater, like an uncoordinated synchronized swimmer. A smirk sweeps my face. He’s ridiculous. He sinks to the bottom of the pool and glides toward me with his hand stretched high, holding my keys to the truck. Nico’s face bursts through the water. Droplets on his eyelashes.
Standing at the pool’s edge, I grab the keys. “Thank you. They must have fallen out of my pocket.”
“Welcome,” he says with a wide, friendly, and welcoming smile that should be irritating. He takes a deep breath and sinks underwater.
I tip the wheelbarrow of mulch onto the garden bed and return to the mulch pile in the orchard to refill. When I return, Nico’s gone.
Nico’s voice rises from behind the pool fence. “I’ll catch ya. I’ve got to get to my next job. See ya at five a.m. tomorrow.”
“Wait, what?” I lean over the fence. Nico opens the driver’s door of my truck and takes a seat. He tilts his head out the window.
“Can’t be late for my first day slinging burritos.” And he starts the engine.
There’s only one place in town that serves real Mexican food, and I’m pleading to the food gods that’s not Nicola’s Cantina.
“Hang on, we don’t start at five a.m. We start at nine …” But it’s too late he’s gone, and my truck ambles past the lagoon, where he beeps the horn and waves out the window to Mrs. Wilson.
My phone beeps.
Penny: Yo girl, we still on for karaoke at Nicola’s cantina tonight? Ya know ya want to?
Me: Yup. Mr. Balducci has hired someone to replace me, and guess who’s training him? And he is ann oy ing.
Penny: Girl, ya’ll be leaving soon to be a hotshot lawyer, lol.
Me: I haven’t got in. I could be stuck with this guy.
Penny: Is he hot?
Me: haven’t noticed.
Penny: I take that as Izzy’s code, for he’s both hot and annoying.
Penny: Every person Mr. Balducci gets you to work with, you give ridiculous names, Too Much Mulch Mitch, Overwater Olli and Talks Too Much Tatum. His name?
I flounder, trying to think of the most appropriate name.
Me: Nico Doesn’t Need More Botanical Tattoos.
Penny: Nice. I knew it. He’s hot.
Me: Nope. His annoyingness cancels all hotness.
Penny: Riiigghtt. So, are we on for tonight? P.S. you’re gonna get into law.
Me: I hope so. I’m losing hope. FYI, get ready to thrash out some Beyonce.
Penny: I’ll pick you up from Balducci’s after work.
Me: Perfect.
